K-POP... Pet Peeves

Note: Me ranting at K-Pop entertainment companies. Not for people who are easily offended.

1. There's a new idol group coming out almost DAILY in the past few summer months. Think supply and demand people! There are not enough fans with enough time (or money) to become interested in so many new groups. The more groups you hurl at us in short notice, the less time we have to react! If we don't happen to react, then we won't bother with the group at all. Also, the quality of the new groups are not what they used to be. If you're going to be an idol group/solo artist, learn how to SING and DANCE at the same time. If you can't do both, then make SINGING your priority and simplify the dance moves. This is about music, after all. Learn to gradually build your stamina along the way. Which leads to my next peeve:

2. If you're going to create an idol group, make sure ALL of your members CAN SING, and I don't mean barely be able to sing two lines in a song, but have pretty darn near MAIN VOCALIST potential. Don't make me listen to a live performance or song and think, "Damn, at least I can carry a tune," or "Auto-tune does all the work." If an individual was chosen for something other than their vocals, make darn sure they are intensely trained vocally BEFORE YOU DEBUT. Don't give me half-trained, single-talented idols, please. 

 Infinite "Paradise" Parody by mgurl0523 (YouTube)

3. High-pitched, contrived "Baby" or "aeygo" voices. Are. Annoying. Whispering, soft, "air" voices should only be used when completely necessary to a song.

4. Don't include members just for the sake of the numbers. (Ahem- T-ara??!!! After School? Even SNSD?) If a member leaves, let them leave. There will be more lines in the song for the rest of the members. If you plan on debuting a group with more than five members, consider: Are all the members going to be able to sing for at least 15 seconds in a song? Does it make sense that one person only sings for three seconds? Do you really need two rappers (that can't do much else)? Random vocalists that can't back up the main vocalists?

5. Why do you single out one member from each group and call them the "visual" (aka best-looking member)? How is one person responsible for the "height" (tallest person) of the group? Uh, that also points out that the rest of the members are not that height, and everyone else is not as good-looking. Don't define any aspect of a group by just one member. That just contradicts the idea of a group in the first place.

6. Are you really going to make people who dance 18 hours a day and barely get 2 hours of sleep (INFINITE?! SHINee?!) eat three measly portions (with barely any meat) a day? Especially when they're growing adults? Are you really going to make the guys that perform onstage look thinner than the fan girls who buy their albums? Then, you're going to milk your cash cows to the fullest by jam-packing their schedules to the point where they get no rest? Yes, you have an image to uphold, and being thin makes you look taller, but that's not healthy, and you entertainment companies better hope your trainees don't sue you for heart failures in the near future.

7. Entertainment companies, if you really wanted interesting idols to inspire fans, you should give them a looser leash to live their lives. Give them time to visit home, hang with friends, contact the outside world, and honestly, DATE. Yes, the fans will be devastated, but idols are meant to be loved for not only their talent but their personalities. It's hard to see character-building when they're not allowed to see life outside of their company. Idols become very generic that way.

8. Speaking of generic, because groups are constantly changing their style concepts, especially girl groups, the idea of 180 degree "concept change" has become generic in itself. It's so easy to just assume they're slutty. Guy groups- if you start off as sexy warriors and transform into aeygo-happy dongsaengs the next, I'm likely to suspect you had a sex change. When you go from cute to sexy to cute to fierce again, there is really nothing separating your group identity from every other group out there. Gradual changes are better, like from young cute to flirty cute to hip cute, etc. Every group should have a distinguishing vibe, and maybe start with some kind of genre they can stick to for awhile so fans can at least recognize them. Then, when you're famous enough, you can go crazy and break all the boring boundaries.

9. Don't use English words you cannot pronounce. What's more, don't include English lyrics unless they're grammatically correct. PLEASE. (4Minute: "Four minute slut" instead of "Four minutes left", Infinite: "Fly to the my heart"). Also, corniness and English should never mix. I swear, if another song starts with, "Hey boy, you're my angel," (A-Pink "Bubibu") or, "You're a guy, with heart (gut?)" (Dal Shalbet "Bang Bang") I'm gonna shoot myself. You think McDonald's is greasy? No, "cute" K-Pop English is what layers on the gross.

10. Exactly, Korea, what is your definition of "manly?" Heavy eye-liner/make-up? BB-cream? Long hair? Skinny jeans? Plastic surgery? Boys that are so thin they flop instead of walk? Then you pressure them to gain muscles when they have no bulk to actually look buff? Or put them into tight pants that make their thighs stand out like chicken-legs? There is star stage treatment, and there is going too far. If there's one way to emasculate a male, it's to make him feel like he needs to put make-up on in order to step outside. Skin problems? I understand. Eye-liner? Leave it for the stage. Also, why would you ever ask (or force) a man to perform "aeygo?" A guy can be cute without having to wink at me in a pitchy kid voice and waving bunny ears, thanks.

Shinee depiction found from missmoody90's blogspot page

11.  Be more creative and reasonable with your names. Examples of good names with meaning or specific identifiers (and I know this sounds like I favor a certain type of name, but it just happens to work out that way): DBSK/TVXQ (Gods of the East), Big Bang, Girls' Generation, TaeTiSeo, Wonder Girls, Supernova, Infinite, Nine Muses, Spica, Piggy Dolls, A-Jax, Pandora, even A-Pink. Names like F(x), Crayon Pop, RaNia, Chocolat, Dal*Shabet (meaning sweet sherbet) are interesting and creative. Examples of bad names: Bikiny, Chi-Chi, Swing Girls, C-Clown, Puretty, 100%, Myname. Names that make you roll your eyes but aren't terrible: SHINee, Rainbow, Sistar, Jewelry, Boyfriend, Girl's Day, Nu'Est. Then there are groups with okay names and contradictory concepts like new rookie girl group Goddess, who's debuting with a gangster concept, or Gangkiz, an older female group who are neither gang-related or "kidz" anymore.

12. Make music the top priority. Produce good songs with meaningful lyrics, addictive beats, or maybe even both. Just because a song isn't a title track doesn't mean it should sound 'whatever.' Make your "filler" songs almost as good as your title songs. Don't call something a "mini-album" and charge fifteen bucks or more when it contains three original songs and two instrumentals or remixes-  that's the rip-off version of a "single album". Consider spending more time promoting one good, solid album to its fullest instead of moving so rapidly between albums. Instead of relying on select producers, why not involve the artists in the writing and composing aspect so they can generate their own music styles? If not, learn an instrument on the side?

13. Music transcends looks. Is that even possible with the Hallyu-wave lately? "It's okay that he can't sing, he's handsome," is not an acceptable excuse. I'll buy the album of a short, fat, ugly artist who has awesome windpipes (just an example) over the album of pretty, sexual pixies for their photo-book any day. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same. 

Piggy Dolls (debut)- Once you belong to a company, your image isn't your own anymore...

Piggy Dolls (2012 after extreme weight loss)

14. (Wrap up?) An "idol" should be someone fans can look up to. Members should be conscientious, respectful, and maybe even inspiring. Debut groups because they are ready and capable as a whole. Make sure they are prepared for the long-run. Cultivate your members' abilities instead of cutting and replacing them from the group. 

Junho in Ethiopia for "Global Share Project"